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What is Obsessive Socializing?
Are you perfectly happy just to have your own company for significant periods of time? We hope so. Obsessive Socializing is an obsessive need to socialize just to socialize. Often it means the obsessive socializer can't be by him or herself for too long. Being alone with your company for lengthy periods can be difficult for a surprisingly large number of otherwise emotionally healthy, stable people. Unfortunately bad things might happen as a result of this form of Social Addiction and/or Relationship Addiction.

When people say you must be lonely because you're not socializing, dating or married, it might be because they themselves are obsessed with socializing. They might think they would feel lonely if in your shoes so of course you should also! One is the loneliest number we're told but what they don't tell you is it's the least complicated number! For more on this see the book "The Joy of Being Alone".

What is Relationship Addiction?
The cult of the relationship has existed from the earliest of times and our obsession for relationships makes us bond with both the right and wrong people.

We start their relationships, no matter how minor, with a sense of optimism. We like to think that the relationship is going to be a positive one. It's just the natural course of events in life but with some people it's because of some form of Relationship Addiction. Relationship Addiction is most often associated with intimate relationships, but upon closer scrutiny, it's very definition opens it up to other types of relationships also. See the book "The Joy of Being Alone" for more information.

Question: Are people who are alone usually lonely?
 The definition of "alone" comes into play here, but to claim most people who are "alone" are lonely is simply scientifically unproven, at least in contemporary times. For most 'loners' being alone tends to be for only a temporary duration, though that 'temporary' period can be for years. Many people who are unaccompanied (alone) end up preferring the many benefits to being 'alone'.  The book "The Joy of Being Alone" describes a huge number of those benefits. Here's a few:
  • You likely won't have to do as many things for others that you don't want to do.
  • You become more the master or mistress of your own domain. You decide what you want to watch on TV, and/or what videogames you play, etc.
  • It could limit the number of other people's crisis' you have to deal with. 
  • Now you can eat what you want when you want. Now there's no one there to remind you how bad your diet has become. They'll do that in the emergency room.
  • Maybe you can look at more pornography now.
  • Now you'll have more time to better get to know and understand yourself. Maybe this means attending seminars, reading books, meditating, etc. 
  • You now can decide when to do housecleaning and what gets cleaned.
  • When unaccompanied it's easier to talk to yourself and sing to yourself without others thinking you're weird. It's usually easier to concentrate on building things in your mind while alone.  For more information see the book "The Joy of Being Alone".
Question: But doesn't being alone mean I'll be unhappy?
"Being alone" sounds bad as it's often associated with being lonely. Who wants to be lonely? But what about all those folks you see who are alone and happy? It shouldn't be happening you might be told but it does in contemporary times and much more often than many realize. See the book "The Joy of Being Alone".

Question: Isn't being alone and happy always a sign of some kind of mental illness?
Not necessarily at all! (Though it can be.) I am one of those who was often happiest when alone and wow did I ever suffer the scorn of a surprisingly large number of others, even when they were having more problems in life than me! (Which was often.)  There are those who tried to convince me that I may think I'm happy but really am not. Sometimes they even claimed that me not being depressed and lonely from being alone was in-and-of-itself a sign of emotional weakness. As there were those who would state this with great conviction now and then I took it seriously and at times it made me feel lonely but eventually I realized they were just plain wrong. Fortunately a great many more people are also realizing how wrong that assertion can be. See the book "The Joy of Being Alone" and it's likely you too will feel better about being alone.

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